Claire has the honour of being our first ‘bastardess’, having won that title from a Kodiak Bear that had burst it’s way unexpectedly from a photo booth outside a Tesco in Dublin. After an epic 3 minute battle with the beast, the bear eventually rolled over and displayed the universal sign for submission, by shitting all over itself, tearing open its own chest and ripping out its heart, offering it to her before it passed away. She took that heart and now wears it as part of an earring set, balanced on the other ear by a homeless man’s liver she had won in another battle earlier that week.
Claire now spends her days nursing old soldiers back to happiness, by letting them play chess on top of her massive wangers.
You can find Claire’s Facebook page over at: http://www.facebook.com/claireyfairyness