Doghouse Bastards Forums

Episode 01: The Odd Shoes
Episode 01 – http://traffic.libsyn.com/doghousebasta ... -02-11.mp3

Drinking has a lot to answer for. I mean hell, why else would we agree to get together once a week to record a comedy talk show based in Scotland, poking fun at ourselves more than anything else? Drink I tell you, it’s the devil’s work.

In this episode, we talk about why women are crazy, stalker men leaving voicemails and Forbes buying some odd shoes..

Where the fuck can you buy a pair of odd shoes? That must be some fucking backward place where they take all the clothes off their victims. The empty caravans and cars are stacked behind the garage where they drink diesel and eat fingers and shite.

This is somewhere in Scotland, right? Somewhere near the banana flats on Gorgie Road? Remind me to avoid the place.

I generally drive through Scotland pretty fast. Women are fucking nuts, I completely agree to that. I've had to change sim cards because some fucking bunny boiler's stalking me on a sim card. Four kids on the piss and wanting me to fucking marry her! Jesus-h-mary-and joseph. We were necking on the stairs when all her fucking little rug rat goblins woke up and started running around the house. It was a fucking pig sty - but I'm not too fussy about the house being in shit state; it's the kids running around that gets me.

I've banged some bird doggy once and I remember her shouting for her kids to keep the noise down in the other room. It sort of puts you off doesn't it? Even worse was going downstairs and meeting her son who was 2 years younger than me; we sort of traded glances, he gave me that tired look and said, 'alreet'. I said 'aye' and I can imagine him thinking 'I bet you are, you dirty little fucker!'

I love your banter and it reminds me of me mates in Blackhall in County Durham.

Dougy